Happiest Birthday
Bismillah.
It's 2021 and the year that I poured my wishes for more happiness has arrived.
For those who didn't know, I turned a year older in January. I was born early, few weeks earlier I might be older than I am right now.
Last year, I think I celebrated my birthday with a meal at Malaysian's comfort fast food restaurant KFC, along side with my mom and my lil bro. Then, that's it. The rest of the day was just me mellowing in bed and later at night, I somehow cried myself to sleep. Just a hormonal adolescence doing normal hormonal adolescence things. Not very eventful, for sure and not really a happy event.
For me, it had started to reach those years in which I found that my birthday are just another day. It didn't seem to hold any meaning anymore. I basically lost interest in birthdays, especially in my own.
That was 2020. Now that I think about it, 2020 was really a depressing year lmao.
Around mid 2020, I found a thread on Twitter, encouraging one to appreciate your own birth date etc. I couldn't remember the details to be honest, but it really gave me some sort of enlightenment. I remember quote retweeting the tweet on my private account with something that goes along like "Wow I really spent my birthday crying instead of appreciating myself more?" something along the line.
In short, I was determined to do better next birthday. It took quite a time for my birthday to come and it felt so long until 2021 could come, although the pandemic did help in passing time faster.
It's finally November and I came across a post on Twitter (again) (yes i lived there). The tweet talks about film camera and damn I was never that invested reading it. It appeared in my timeline several times and I thought I would just take the hint. I wanted that.
Besides, other than writing, cameras and photography are something that I've always interested on since I was little. I'm not good at it, but I always like the atmospheric photos that film cameras gave. My parents took a lot of our pictures with film camera when we were kids (just like most of 90s and early 2000s kids) and I enjoyed looking at how genuine the photos are.
After double checking with my financial status that I could afford a film camera, I was determined to just get one on my birthdays. More waiting. From November to December and finally January came. I ordered myself a Kodak M35 camera and few film rolls a few days before my birthday, just so you know, they would arrive on my birthday as my birthday presents ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
It arrived earlier that I expected but I was so determined to make myself happy on my birthday that I kept it in my drawers for two days. With packaging on and such. I really said "I aint tolerating any spoilers" stuffs like that.
My birthday arrived and I woke up, somehow, feeling very happy? I think it's because I have something to look forward to, despite the fact that it's not really a secret to me.
The day went on, we had a simple family lunch at home. Mama bought us two packs of nasi arab, several small packs or lasagna and some brownies and that's it for my birthday meal. It was simple but it still made me giddy. We put a candle on the brownies and without even lighting it, we sang happy birthday together.
It's April and I can't believe that I can still remember those little details.
In the afternoon, I started to unpack my items and it was freaking exciting. I took a video just in case, but then, my phone has been in a poor condition lately so.... the video somehow lags (?). Which is, too bad, I was planning on uploading it on Instagram.
But still, by the time I unpacked it out, I was running around the house, enthusiastically showing off my film camera to my family. It was peak happiness, I think.
Another interesting story is that I received a bouquet of chocolate from my mom. She bought it from my aunt who is currently running the business and being her, she really couldn't make the delivery more dramatic that it could. The bouquet really came in with a prank and I actually CRIED??? The last time I got pranked this hard is when I was in high school when my dormmates decided to prank me during midnight rollcall. Peeps in boarding school know how scary midnight rollcall could be and yes, I am still mentally traumatized even after years of leaving high school.
Anyways, it is still eventful though. The day ended like any other days but I guess the little events that happened in between made it more memorable than other birthdays.
Which leads to my point, do enjoy our birthday. It is the only day that we can claim to be as OUR day and to do so, we need to prove it to the world and ourselves why.
Prove it by making ourselves happy. Buy yourselves a present, tell people around you, especially your family and your close friends, that it's your birthday and you are really looking forward to it. I didn't do the second one, but I think my family could sense how excited I was for my birthday by the time my parcel arrived (my mom asked me to open the package but i told her that i wanted to open it on my birthday).
It's cliché but in any way possible, just make ourselves happy. Self love. It's difficult but I guess once we tried to pursue it, it would be easier in each steps we're taking. There's no harm in that and I guess, it put a smile on people who love us too.
And before you say anything;
Yes, there are people who love you.
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